10 TIPS FOR OUTSMARTING THE 'KIWI'

A collection of KIWI comments to help you on your journey - have a laugh on us - and enjoy the difference  

The following information has been sourced from a variety of sources and is commonly found on the internet explained in many different ways.  On your journey through New Zealand you have a 'HEADS UP' .... this is not on the list....'first chance' to beat the Kiwi to it! 

KIWI Lesson 1 

Food: - *a banger is a sausage *a biscuit is a cookie *brekkie is breakfast *candy floss is candy *capsicum is a green pepper *chips are french fries *chocolate fish is a yummy marshmallow fish covered in chocolate *a chook is a chicken *a cuppa is a cup of tea, coffee or milo *fizzy is a soda pop *hokey pokey - a delicious honey comb sweet *ice block is a popsicle *lolly is a candie *pikelet is a heavy pancake *a 'pottle' of chips (container) *a sarnie is a sandwich *smoko is a break for tea/coffee/other and a bite to eat *take-aways - buying your food in *tomato sauce is catchup *vegemite is a spread for bread or toast  

KIWI Lesson 6

More Tricky Stuff: *Fagged out - or knackered means stuffed more than tired. *Flash - that looks cool. *Flog - steal. *Gawk - stare. *Get off the grass disbelief, stop pulling my leg. *Gizza - give us a look. *Good as gold - job well done. *Guts for garters - you are in really big trouble. *Hard Yakka - hard work. *Heaps - a lot or "I miss you heaps" . *Hissy Fit - throw a tantrum. *Home 'n hosed -  we are safe or have been successful. *Hooray - Good-bye. *Hosing down - raining hard. *Hunky Dory - everything is great. * Long Drop - outdoor loo. *main - our main plate for a meal. *Naff Off! Get lost!. *Pack a Sad - Moody. *Piece of piss - easy as! *Pike out - give up. *Plod - policeman. *Postal code is a Zip Code. *Puckeroo - broken down. *Pushing up daisies - dead and buried. *Rark up - a telling off. *Tata - goodbye to a child. * Take a hike! Go away. *Tea is dinner - remember this one. *Thick is not too smart. *Tights are pantyhose. *Tiki Tour is a scenic tour. *Tip is the dump. *Two sammies short of a picnic - great one for someone who appears to be a bit thick at the time. *Wet blanket - the person spoils the fun of others. *What are ya? Are you mad? *Wop Wops - really out of the way from town. *Yonks - a long time ago. 

 

 

 KIWI Lesson 2 

Things: *bonnet is a car hood *boot is a car trunk *braces are suspenders *bumper is a fender *car park is a parking lot *caravan is a trailer or mobile home *cardy is a woollen jersey that buttons up at the front *chemist is a pharmacy *chilly bin is a chest to keep your food cold *cotton buds are Q tips *dairy is a corner store that would sell milk, bread cheese, papers etc. 7 days a week *dressing gown is a bathrobe *dunny is a toilet, lavatory *flannel is a wash cloth *flat is apartment *flicks are the movies *footpath is a pavement or sidewalk *gumboots also known as gummies are wellingtons, wellies, rubber boots *hottie is a hot water bottle *jandals are flip flops or thongs *a jersey is a sweater or a jumper is a woollen sweater. 

KIWI Lesson 7

The best way to see the real KIWI BLUNDERS is first hand!

As a local born kiwi myself with a number of years, habits and personal sayings like 'Skull Duggery'  and 'Awesome' I am on one side of the fence and just recently have discovered Rhonda. Now Rhonda caught my eye (I wonder what she would call that?).....she didnt poke my eye out she 'caught my attention!)
So much that she gave me the idea for this page. Over the past few years I have met great passengers on my tours from all over the world and the Aussies always ask me to say 'fosh and chops' , the visitors from the UK are  full of questions and you need to be on the ready all the time, those from Europe ask politely if we can speak more slowly as we are always excited to share, the Japanese love the photos and the sheep (lamb) and are happy with our explanations.
For our American visitors and expats who can now take a lesson from a very well versed (that's another one?  (means read as is pronounced 'red') expat named Rhonda...

Here is her story in a summary form in a version with some of my own words? ....
Rhonda is a Kiwi now she says, having past all the tests I presume? She says she has changed....She wears togs (bathing suit) and jandals (thongs) in the summer, woollies and jumpers in the winter (*She went shopping to find our Woollies store!*) - She rings from a phone and calls in person, She holidays at a bach (not a batch of cookies) and the one I love is that she wakes early and can enjoy a sparrow fart (*Early morning sunrise..Mmmm?*). Her life is great she says and she is happy as Larry.
Then of course you have to ask "Who is Larry?" - us KIWIS dont know, Rhonda doesn't know either.

KIWI Lesson 3

More Things: *judder bars are speed bumps *A KIWI IS A NEW ZEALANDER *a kiwi is a flightless bird native to New Zealand *knickers are underwear *a lift is an elevator *a long drop - (not many about now - outhouse, outdoor loo * loo is a toilet in the bathroom *loose metal is gravel *a lorry is a truck *a mate is a buddie *a motorway is a freeway *a nappy is a diaper *petrol is gasoline *pinky is a little finger *a pram is a baby carriage *a prang is a motor vehicle accident *pub is a bar for alcohol *rubbish is garbage *serviette is a napkin *sparkie is an electrician *sunnies are sunglasses * tea towel is a dish rag *tights are panty hose *tip is the recycling depot and dump *tracksuit are sweats *togs are a swimsuit *torch is a flash light *twink is white out *verge is a grassy section on side of road.

KIWI Lesson 8

HERE ARE RHONDA'S 10 COMMON FUNNY NEW ZEALAND LANGUAGE BLUNDERS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM!

  1. If you are told to bring a plate, be sure it has food on it to share 
  2. If you are angry, remember to say you are "pissed off" not just pissed as in drunk. 
  3. If it's pissing down with rain - bring an umbrella. 
  4. Not the shops looking for the woollies store as I did. Putting your woollies on, it refers to any warm layers.  
  5. If your mate tells you about someone pushing up the daisies, look sad; this is someone who is dead and buried. 
  6. Don't worry about what to do with a box of fluffy ducks. it is just a happy expression and completely bird-free.
  7. That guy walking down the street wearing tiny shorts that are too tight - that's a NZ fashion called stubbies.
  8. A sparrow fart is just an early morning sunrise.
  9. If you hear someone say it's hosing down - they really mean raining very heavily. 
  10. If you were invited to 'grid iron' and it is not very likey in NZ, you would be going to American Football!

 

 

KIWI Lesson 4

The Tricky Stuff: *beaut is great, good fun, "that'll be beaut mate" *bit of a dag - hard case, comedian, joker *bloke - usually a man, or a semi stranger they don't know the name, of *blow me down -expression of surprise, eg: Well! Blow me down, I didn't know that! *bludge - sponge off others, dole (unemployed pension) bludger, *Bob's your uncle - sort of means - there you go, that's all there is to it - just do this and Bob's your uncle!. *Box of budgies - cheerful, happy. *braces - suspenders. *brassed off - disappointed, annoyed. *brekkie - breakfast. *bugger all - not much, I know know bugger all. *buggered - exhausted. *Bun in the oven - pregnant. *cackhanded - left handed. *Carked it - kicked the bucket. *Cheer or cheerio- good-bye. *Choc-a-block - full, overflowing. *Choice - very good. *Chuffed - very pleased. 

 

 

Many thanks to Rhonda and Jeff Albom whose creativity and inspiration has touched many through their fantastic Blog Albom Adventures! 

Thank you so much Rhonda for allowing me to share parts of your award winning article that WON!!!.
Expat Blogs Awards 2013.
'Top 10 Funny New Zealand Language Blunders - Expats Beware!'

For more interesting articles and the adventures of Rhonda and Jeff please visit:

To follow Rhonda and Jeff"

http://www.albomadventures.com 

To read the complete blog article: 

http://www.albomadventures.com/new-zealand-language-blunders/   

 KIWI Lesson 5

More Tricky Stuff: *Cods Wollop- not true, loads of rubbish. *Colly wobbles - feeling of nervousness and nausea. *Corker - very good. *Crikey dick! - Gosh, Wow. *Crook - unwell. *Cuz - male or female cousin or pet word for a mate. *Dag - hard case, joker - 'like' "Joe Blow's a bit of a dag isn't he?" *Ding - a small dent in a vehicle. *Dole - unemployment benefit. *Doing the Ton - Driving really really fast. As in my source 100 mph - as our cars in the early days I doubt could do 100 mph. *Dodgy - bad. *Draughts - checkers. *Dreaded lurgy - flu or head cold. *Dummy - baby pacifier. *Dunny -toilet. *Duvet - Quilt. *eh? pronounced as in 'a' but not used as a question but at the end of a phrase of the persons comment.Lovely Day eh!  or if used as a question it is like What? or Eh? tell me again. *Rattle your dags - hurry up. *Rellies - your relatives. *Skull - drink beer very fast. *Shorts - clips from movies. *Skint - short of money. *Smoko - rest time at work. *Snarky nasty or sarcastic. *Sook - being scared or reluctant. * Strewth - frustration. *Stubby - a small bottle of beer. *Suss to figure out. *Sweet-as! Awesome. *Yarn is a tall story. *Yack is friends having a good old chat. *Yoo Hoo - I am here. *You aint wrong that's right, yes.

 

 

 

Kiwi Web - Chemistry & New Zealand has also inspired me for their great A-Z Words and Phrases peculiar to the Kiwi of New Zealand 

Thank you to the writer who I have not been able to source who has provided some of the Lesson content above for your visit or residency to New Zealand. 
Great site to find facts about our beautiful New Zealand, about the Kiwi Bird, our wild life and glaciers and helpful chemistry style hints.

Please visit this site like I did: 

http://www.chemistry.co.nz/new_zealand_facts.htm